The Dumbest Arguments Couples Have
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Let me tell you a story.
Back in high school, my boy was dating a good friend of mine. Now, I’d already dated this particular good friend which is how we became good friends, we realized that we weren’t good together, but were great as long as we didn’t hold any obligation to one another. But somehow, my boy got caught up in her web. For shame, young man. For shame. I pity the fool who doesn’t learn from another man’s mistakes.
Anyway, these two lovebirds and I were at the mall one day partaking of some of that good partaketh from Sbarro.
Yum.
And then this conversation ensued, which means it “then happened” for you scholars in the room:
My Boy’s Girl (MBG): You know what, My Boy (MB), you spell your name wrong.
MB: (mid-chew) Say what?
MBG: Your name. You spell it wrong. It should be spelled like so…(proceeds to scribble how she feels his name should be spelled)…not like you currently spell it.
MB: (looking at me for understanding - he got none - then looking back at her, visibly irritated) What are you talking about? It’s my name, even if ou spell it out phonetically, it’s the same. But beyond that, how are you going to tell me that my name’s spelled wrong? It’s my name.
MBG: Look, don’t get mad at me because your name isn’t spelled right. I’m just trying to help you out. And don’t look at him (me) like he has the answer either, his name is spelled wrong too. There should be an aposotrophe in his name, but there isn’t.
Sidenote: She truly believed this too, evidenced by all of the letters she’d written me (and later emails) as late as 2016 which included my name with the apostrophe that she felt should have been there. If I could stab somebody with the “Reply” button on an email, it would be her.
MB: (at this point fuming) Yo, how you going to tell anybody that THEIR NAME, THAT THEIR PARENT GAVE THEM is spelled wrong. Who the f*ck made you the authority on spelled names?? I could understand if my name was Michael but it was spelled like “Anthony”, but MY NAME, is spelled just like it sounds and for some reason you think that you’ve found the missing link in my name?? Get the f*ck out of here with that bullsh*t.
MBG: Yo, you need to calm the f*ck down. Don’t you go loudcapping me like I’m some random chick. And don’t get f*cking mad at me because your sh*t is f*cked up. You need to fix your damn name and that’s all there is to it. F*ck you.
Me: (thinking to self, “I’m SO glad I dodged this bullet. Ain’t a donk in existence worth this non-sense.” Then I continued to eat my pizza while they actually went back and forth for 15 minutes. 15 MOTHERF*CKING MINUTES about this.)
Needless to say, they broke up shortly after this. They stopped speaking and then my boy went on to date his ex’s BEST FRIEND who he ended up breaking up with because…
…she sneezed too much.
Seriously.
Anyway, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. No matter how great the chemistry between you and your partner there are going to be bumps along the way. Arguments happen. But damn, sometimes you have to wonder why two people are together given the stupidity of the arguments that occur. And by the way, that argument was the norm for the two of them. She’s nuts and he’s equally as insane. He started as many dumb arguments as she did, like the time they got into an argument because he refused to accept her definition of “emotional” after she’d called him emotional. Mind you, she pulled out the dictionary. He just didn’t like her (read: Webster’s ) definition so he wanted to argue about it.
So, falks, what’s the dumbest argument you’ve gotten into within the confines of relationship? Or even, what’s the dumbest argument you’ve witnessed from two people who were dating? And further, how natural do you think dumb arguments to relationshipism??